June 8, 2022

Pre-Marital Counseling

Neurobiologists have discovered a chemical is released in the brain when a couple falls in love. This chemical is called phenylethlamine and it functions in the body much like an amphetamine — thus explaining the superhuman feelings of a couple in these early stages.  Young couples often make statements like “I feel like I can walk on air.” Since phenylethlamine is released in the presence of your partner, you want to spend every waking moment with him and most couples do just that. Amazingly enough, during this stage of their relationship, couples never seem to tire of one another.

But, unfortunately, phenylethlamine highs cannot last.  As with any chemical, your body builds up a tolerance to it, and the body requires more and more of the substance to acquire love’s special spark. Neurobiologists say it takes about four years for the chemical to fade, to run its course. Once the chemical is gone, the couple is faced with the difficult challenge of doing love with their own basic brain chemistry.  This can create quite a struggle for many married couples.

This is where those couples who have had pre-marital counseling seem to shine. Statistically, those couples weather the storms of the first year of marriage better than couples who did not participate in pre-marital counseling. And with the 57% divorce rate in this nation, pre-marital counseling is a good idea for every couple.

The therapists at Access use an online inventory and have six goals:

  1. To explore Relationship Strengths and Growth Areas
  2. To learn Assertiveness and Active Listening Skills
  3. To learn how to resolve conflict using the Ten Step Model
  4. To help the couple discuss their Family-of-Origin
  5. To help the couple with financial planning and budgeting
  6. To focus on personal, couple and family goals

We look at typical significant issues for couples:

  1. Communication
  2. Conflict Resolution
  3. Personality Issues
  4. Financial Management
  5. Sexual Expectations
  6. Leisure Activities
  7. Children and Parenting
  8. Family and Friends
  9. Relationship Roles
  10. Spiritual Beliefs

So much is spent on the wedding day! Do you want a wedding, or do you want a marriage?  Invest in your marriage through pre-marital counseling.

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